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Behold IBM’s newest processor: the Eagle!

Sometimes "AI slop" is so awful it's fantastic.

Behold IBM's newest processor: the Eagle!
By Brian Siegelwax posted 13 Mar 2026

Ashikul Islam ifty announced “IBM’s Latest Breakthrough,” its “new processor, named ‘Eagle.’” Dr. Bob Sutor was quick to point out in the comments that eagles have been flying since 2021. The Quantum Dragon laughed up this legendary “AI slop” with his eagle friend, but his newer heron and nighthawk friends were not amused.

This week’s premium content:

In this edition:

  • The Centre for Quantum Technologies has cartoons.
  • Finally, a Color-Coded Maze
  • Quantum Advantage with Neutral Atoms
  • Princeton University is building a better transmon.
  • Zurich Instruments launches the ZQCS Quantum Control System to master the long-lived logical qubit challenge
  • The ”JVG algorithm” is crap
  • I want to learn quantum physics.
  • Magic, Muggles, Measurement

The Centre for Quantum Technologies has cartoons.

CQT shared a promotional event poster featuring a cartoon-like illustration. I admit to not being able to identify what everything on the poster references, but it’s impossible to miss Albert Einstein playing with dice. If the other character is supposed to be Niels Bohr, it’s not nearly as obvious.

Finally, a Color-Coded Maze

We’ve all seen superposition illustrated as taking multiple paths through a maze simultaneously, but I’ve always seen the paths in the same color. Here’s a version that uses multiple colors, so that it is instantly more obvious that multiple paths are being explored. This link may require a Twitter account.

Quantum Advantage with Neutral Atoms

Infleqtion’s CTO Dr. Pranav Gokhale makes a claim about quantum advantage that is NOT bullshit. If I’ve successfully grabbed your attention, it will take you less than 56 seconds to watch the linked video and hear not only the claim but also its proposed implications. This link may require a Twitter account.

Princeton University is building a better transmon.

This 2:42 video makes 2 funny claims. First of all, NOT “almost every company” is using transmons. I literally just wrote about neutral atoms. And second, I’m not so sure quantum computing “solves” cybersecurity problems; it sure seems to create them. This link may require a Twitter account.

Zurich Instruments launches the ZQCS Quantum Control System to master the long-lived logical qubit challenge

Zurich Instruments announced the ZQCS Quantum Control System, a next‑generation platform to operate large-scale quantum computers. It is engineered to tackle the pivotal challenge on the path to fault‑tolerant quantum computing: building long‑lived logical qubits.

The “JVG algorithm” is crap

True story: I wanted Prof. Scott Aaronson to be the 5th recipient of The Dracarys Award but scrolling through his blog showed that he mostly breathes fire on politics, not quantum. I hope he continues calling algorithms “crap” so that I can finally bestow this aspiringly prestigious award on him.

I want to learn quantum physics.

Question: Why is this quantum magnetometer uncased?
Hint: It’s in a classroom.

Magic, Muggles, Measurement

Prof. Jens Eisert didn’t share a link to his upcoming talk at FU Berlin, but the title and image make me wish he had. This link may require a LinkedIn account.

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